i post on this blog now as 'gay college student'

i dont know when the next day is that i will want to write a diary of my life. i know no one gives a damn. live.


sperming around

today was the first day back at school after winter break. i went to japan on winter break, and im kind of sad about being back in canada. the best thing that happened in japan was that me and my friends got fake pussies and when the heart beating moment came of opening the fake pussy and seeing it, smelling it, getting to know it, putting up with the wrapping just so i can have sex, i tried to enter but my penis was too large for it. i wasnt sure if i should be disappointed or grateful, but i managed to take out the rubber and foam inside and put it in drinking bottle instead of the plastic cup that it was in. i declared entrance again and it fit perfectly. at first just stroked my penis with it but then i thought of pretending it was a real pussy and holding it in place and fucking it with my hips. i enjoyed it better when my hips didnt have to move. i wanted to let the fake pussy do all the work while i just sat and moaned. (i didnt moan while using the fake pussy). the reason my penis didnt fit was probably because i accidentally got a "tight anal" one. my penis is only 7 inches when its erect. i dont have a monster cock.

i woke up early after going to bed at 5 pm last night. i am still not used to the canadian average human sleeping time frame. i needed to get a staple gun for painting class to staple canvas onto a wooden frame. the only problem was that it was inbetween the apartment i live in and school. i would have to get off the bus, purchase the gun, then wait for another bus to come, and im far too lazy not to feel negative about that. but imagined doing it after school was done when my stomach is usually begging and torturing me for food and decided to purchase the gun before school started.

as always i was almost late for my bus but i caught it, but when i got inside it was as hot as a sweating fat person. i had to take off my hat and unzip my jacket. i thought about how dull it looks out side while on the ride. i got to the home center. it was huge, and i walked around to find my gun. many tough men, most with facial hair were looking at tools and talking about plans on building various things. they must work hard and be proud of themselves when they finish building things. i felt like a weak twinkle boy surrounded by tough hairy men. i found the guns, but some were cheaper than others so i decided to confront a worker and ask questions. i found a man-worker with a huge mustache. i have been working on my own mustache for around a month and a half now and it is getting fuller by the day. i will never reach the hight of this man mustache-wise. he must have been thinking i was a complete wimp with many things to learn, many things to experience. every time i looked at his mustache i felt a sense of powerlessness and shame. he answered my questions, i said thanks, and he said no problem. obviously answering some easy gun questions is not a problem at all for a man with such a full mustache. i took the fucking gun to the pay counter. standing there was a huge girl with a name tag that said Brittany. britanny took my gun and i gave her my visa card. then she handed me a pen that had a tag on it that had "britanny" written with colorful pens in a cute style. she had hairy arms for gods sake. i was amazed that britanny was a fan of cuteness. maybe if she lost some weight?...... i thought, and gave a closer look at her face. sorry britanny, but you better focus on other things in life... i thought. then i waited for the bus painfully and it came and i got to school.

there were many girls that looked good from some angles, but looked ok from others. i wished to find a girl that looked good from all angles. 360 degree hotness. i had to wait in a long line to purchase a bus pass for this month. while waiting i listened to the smiths and subtly tapped my feet. i felt johnny mar's jangly in-place guitars while the handsome man sang. too bad morrissey is fat and sucks now. he used to hate fatness.... i hoped noone thought i was tapping my feet to prog rock or metal or something. feeling godsmack. getting into the nickel back zone. not that listening to the smiths is 'cool'. anyways, i got my pass and then got a coffee and went to video class. as always the teacher showed us not intriguing or inspiring video art and then we viewed some students work. there is a retarded guy in class and his video was kind of funny, as always. retarded people are creative, retarded people are funny, and retarded people rock.

class was done and i sat and ate a banana and 2 pieces of bread, and then got another coffee for my bus ride home. the bus was packed with people. men, women, teens, old people, all together in one moving box. i sat in the reserved seats area for old people and hurt people and anyone who officially cant suffer standing in the bus. the old people on the bus looked at me, probably thinking that i should stand. i gave them a "what, everrrrr" look. i dont really care about old people most of the time. especially old ladies. they generally are the most annoying types of human beings.

the best part about the bus ride was when a girl with tight pants on had her leg against my knee because the bus was so packed. it could have been intentional, it could be an accident, but i kept my knee in place waiting for more. yeah baby, rub against me, i feel it. i wanted to massage her, but i could only sit still and wait for bumpy parts of the road to come. every bump was a sexual stroke between me and her. we shared each bump together.

then i got home and shat in the toilet and then wrote this thing. now i plan to go get my guitar from my friends house and probably take a bus to a far away auto shop to get some air-line for something i want to make in sculpture class. i dont want to go, but if i dont then the teacher will think im even lazier than how lazy he thinks i am now, which is pretty lazy anyway.

maybe ill update more, but most days i dont feel like reporting to the world about my failure of a day. not that today was a success. i just decided to update. uuuuh. o...k....



i sat on the carpet floor and gazed at the stack of flyers laying there like they wanted to say something to me. what ever the store puts on sale, i was interested in it. i then got up and opened the door. i could see a mixture of architecture and architected nature. i was sick of the view, so i left the door open and went to sit on the carpet again. this time, i thought, id play with the sponge ball i had purchased at the dollar store for 2 dollars.

as i tossed the ball up and down, it felt like i was representing my current life. i then decided to do some moves to explore my natural talent with ball tossture. i threw it up, then tilted my shoulders back and let the ball bounce on my chest, and after the ball rose up into the air right from my chest, i successfully caught it again. then i did the same move, but i let it bounce on my head. then i put a spin on the ball as i threw it in the air, and successfully caught it. i felt like i was really getting the hang of it, but there was more to be done for the day so i threw the ball, but this time instead of capturing it with my hands, i let it free. it hit the ground, rolled, and then stopped, and then looked at me. it said "thanks" and i nodded.

then i got this weird feeling ive been getting recently. a feeling of what the fuck is this shit. then i tried to be like a less sophisticated animal, such as a rat, or bird. i didnt think about why, and just did. i walked around trying to find something that would keep me busy. i kept walking in circles looking at the different things scattered all over the gorund. it was not as stimulating as hoped, but i tried not to think about that. i couldnt keep going, but i still wanted to act like a careless animal, so i decided to lay on 2 pillows that were on the ground. i thought about cavemen and imagined one sleeping beside a rock. i felt like that man. i was that man. i was living my life as that man.

then i got up and was faced with the same shit all over again.


i got up.

i normally bug my friend right away and piss him off for fun and to relieve stress but right now i am on strike. i am not speaking to him because he wont tell me about his problems and im mad. i had a career counseling meeting at 5pm, and it was 3 pm. i had nothing to do so i went on the computer and read things that people wrote to entertain myself. then at around 4:20 i got my bong ready. no. not because i smoke pot at 4:20 everyday like a highschool 420 master . i had to leave at 430 and i wanted to smoke some 420 because i thought the meeting would be boring. it would be 3 hours long, and i hate sitting and listening to a middle aged person talk for 3 hours. not that i have any thing better to do. i basically sit at home all day any way. that will probably change soon.

i smoked the pot (sorry marijuana haters!) and put on my wintercoat and socks and all, and left the slob house. winnipeg is so boring that i actually enjoy walking around in the winter more because the snow makes the ground less flat. my feet are positioned in different angles each step i take, and for me, that is important. i listened to the band ponytail and got hyped and pumped and stoked. then i got to school and went up to the career counseling office. an over weight middle aged rather ugly woman gave me a yellow piece of paper and told me to fill it out. i filled it out. i gave it to the ugly woman. she looked dumb too. me and 3 other people that were too retarded to find a career they think they could handle were taken into a room that could probably fit around 300 dead bodies or so. we sat down. there was a younger woman already in the room that looked kind of pretty, but at some angles she didnt look very good. she seemed like a nice person. she introduced herself and the big lady did too. then

fuck it. i quit.

the big ugly lady turned out to be a really nice person, and the career counseling meeting didnt help that much but i got to make more appointments with the big nice lady and came home and sat.

i am too lazy to write a whole entry at the moment. sorry.


back in canadiana

yesterday i woke up at 6 am. my friend was already awake using the internet laying on his bed topless. his boobs werent showing because he was laying stomach down. i ate a yogurt that didnt taste that good, and then started bugging my friend by laying beside him and hugging him and making jokes. i usually get him so mad that he attacks me. i was bored and had nothing to do so i decided to eat a sleeping pill to get high. i bought some over the counter sleeping pills the day before. i took 2 before bed. it felt like air was squeezing my brain. they kind of helped me sleep but it was more of an awake sleep. i thought i would be able to sleep till 12 or so but no, i had to wake up at 6 in the morning. since i have absolutely no schedule, i just go to sleep and wake up when ever i feel like it. sometimes i dont see day light.

so i took the sleeping pill and went to the little chinese store near my apartment. i saw the woman that works there dumping out garbage at the dumpster while walking there and was disgusted. sometimes she gives me 10 cents off of items but i am still not thankful enough to appreciate that face. i bought a coca cola and came back to my place to drink it. then i took another sleeping pill. the sleeping pills werent working as good as the night before. i didnt mind because i didnt want to go to sleep anyways. i killed time by walking around the apartment, looking out the windows, making sounds with my penis.

we were supposed to buy some weed today but we didnt have any money in our bank accounts so we needed to convert the japanese money we had to canadian dollars. we got on our bikes and went to the bank. it was sunny, and i was wearing a t shirt and basket ball shorts. it felt nice. we got to the bank and i stayed out side guarding our bikes. it was pretty hot. i started to sweat. i saw a woman with a skirt on so i looked at her legs. they were ok. then i saw an indian man coming my way. he went into the bank. then my friend came out, and we decided to get a 6 pack of cheep beer. we got ourselves a pack of Lucky beers and started biking home. then my chain fell off. the chain on my bike always falls off and i dont want to take it all the way to the shop to get it fixed. i couldnt get it back on and got frustrated. i banged on the bike 2 times and my friend said he would do it. i said "what the fuck are they doing, selling us bikes that cost 300 bucks with chains falling off. what the fuck.". a lot of stuff that goes on in this city is What The Fuck.

he got the chain on and we biked home. at home i walked around the apartment.

i had some money left on my student card and was starting to feel my empty stomach complain to me, so i asked my friend if he wants to go to the university to eat. he said soon. i have to use up all the money on that card before the month ends or else it will expire. i asked him what he was going to get, and he said a chicken wrap with salad. it sounded like the healthiest thing ever. he got a plate full of fries with cheese and gravy splattered on top last time. thats how i want him to eat. i told him he wasnt allowed to order a chicken wrap. i may have hit him or insulted him or something, because he demanded me to apologize. i dont remember that part too clearly. i thought that apologizing to him was a stupid idea and kept waiting at the door and telling the pig to hurry up. then i threw my student card as hard as i could on the ground and said my stomach hurts. he looked at me and started to make the motion of throwing something towards me. his wallet hit the mattress beside me that we use instead of curtains to cover the windows. i thought he was going to throw his wallet at me. even though he didnt, it pissed me off. i ran towards him and attacked him. he started attacking me. we starting putting each other into head locks and we punched each other as hard as we could. i thew my friend down and then he got me in a lock that i couldnt get out of. we were both really pissed at each other. i reached for his face and stuck my finger in his eye. he immediately backed off and told me that poking eyes just isnt right. he went into the bathroom and then he started yelling at me again so i pushed him really hard and told him to not talk to me. he said his eye was fucked up. i was kind of shaking. i walked around the apartment slightly depressed looking out side of the window once in a while. i felt like i was a total asshole. it wasnt all my fault though. then i went into the room that i sleep in a went into the corner and covered myself in a blanket and felt really sad.

after that i came out and found my friend listening to his ipod on the couch so in a low tone of voice i told him that we should go. he said i could go by myself if i wanted, and i felt crappy. i walked around the apartment like the most unproductive loser there is. i went into the same room that my friend was in and started using the computer. he left. he was sure mad at me.

then i got a message from my weed dealer. he said hes back from where ever he was and that i could buy some pot. i was out of pot so i told him that me and my friend need a half (14 grams). a half would cost around a thousand bucks in japan. here its 100. i told my friend that we can buy pot so he got ready. i decided to take 2 more sleeping pills before i left. we left and i bought a rockstar energy drink at the chinese shop. i thought it would be perfect. sleeping pills and caffein. we rode our bikes to the school and got to the bus stop. i started drinking my drink but it didnt taste that good. the pills werent really working either. the bus was taking long and it was hot. then it came and i got on, hoping there would be some cute girl faces to stare at. i couldnt find any so i listened to music while looking out the window. then this teenish woman came into the bus and sat beside my friend that was sitting beside me. she kind of had hipster cloths on so i wanted to see her face. most hipster girl faces are cute. then i saw the face. it was old. an old lady. i felt like i had just made a girl friend, bought her a ring, took her home, took off her panties, only to find a small uncircumcised elephant penis staring right back at me. we got to osborne street AKA the kool part of town. its one fucking street and lots of hipsters walk around it like apes. if i was invisible and horny thats where i would go to commit unseen crimes. connection crimes. hand to ass, 1960s style. we walked to the weed dealers house and finally got there.

i messaged his cell phone telling the dealer i was at his place. after 10 minutes he came to the front of the apartment. he said whats going on and i said nothing. then i asked him the same question and got the same reply. he said his brother was visiting. i asked him if he looked like him and he laughed. we got into his place and there was a teen playing an xbox 360. the screen was a white wall with a projector pointed towards it. i said Damn. then we sat down, and he got us our weed. i looked at the teen. he was the dealers little brother. he was uglier than the dealer. the evil one. the one mom and dad had by accident. the defect. he was playing the game like there was no tomorrow.

the dealer asked if we wanted a hit out of his table bong. we said yes please. he made his table into a bong. its just a small plastic bong (probably) taped to the inside of the table. i took my hit and then everybody else took theirs except for the gaming teen defect. then the dealer asked me and my friend if we had an xbox and my friend said he did. he said he cant get it to work online and i asked if most people online are geeks. i kind of regretted the question after realizing everybody in the room was an xbox360 online user. then me and my friend left and we talked a little bit about the brother. it was the first time we were talking normally again after our big fight. then we went to the bus stop but the bus wasnt coming yet so we went to a bong shop. its called kustom kulture. they probably couldnt have thought of a more uRbAn LiFeStYLe name for the place. inside were a bunch of workers in their 20s dressed up like hippies and hipsters. we bought some screens and left. we still had time so we went to the cd shop. there wasnt anything i wanted to pay 20 bucks for. then we went outside and the bus was already at the bus stop. we ran towards it but the bus left the stop. i held my hand up to the driver because he was driving towards me and my friend. he shook his head and drove past. fucking asshole. die.

we waited for the next bus, and finally got home. we decided to eat at the chinese restaurant close to our place. before we went, we decided to get high. we had only smoked little bits of pot for a few days, so we knew we were going to get higher than normal. we smoked until we got high. we were pretty high up in the sky 420 yeah hollywood sun in my eyes yo. it felt really nice. we got out side and said Dazamn!. Zamn im high. then we got into the restaurant and ordered fried rice and some chicken vegetable dish. my bottom inner lip was starting to ache for some reason. every time my braces would hit it it would hurt really bad. i wasnt going to be able to eat. the food came, and at first i tried to eat holding my bottom lip towards my friend in front of me. the part that hurt didnt touch my braces but it looked too stupid and it was too hard. then i thought of the master plan. stuff some food in between my lip and teeth. i stuffed fried rice in there but it hurt. then i tried a piece of shrimp and it worked perfectly. i had to eat with a piece of shrimp stuck inside my mouth. it worked really good though, and after i was finished i ate the 10 minute saliva soaked shrimp. it tasted the same as the other ones. then i tried stuffing onion and stuff between my teeth and lips but the shrimp was the best. i was glad that we got shrimp. then we finished and payed.

out side was perfect. it was getting dark and the air temperature was amazing. i said lets go on a walk to my friend and he said ok. before that we would smoke more pot.

suddenly at home i started to feel a little sick. maybe it was the sleeping pills. i decided to just go to sleep. i dont know what my friend did.

i just got up an hour ago and im thinking of buying a bottle of doctor pepper. doctor pepper and weed. hell yeah? total whats up life style urban street child disaster children.


kentalopa zin zin ziiin!

i woke up and got out of my small apartment with a t shirt and boxer shorts on and went upstairs to my other small apartment upstairs. by "my", i mean my family's. my brother was at the computer, and he was on the phone. he gave it to me and said it was for me. it was my crazy bipolar disordered friend. he asked me if he could stay at my house because his parents found out about him playing slot machines every day and him getting 250000 yen (around 2500 bucks) back from this guy who scammed him into buying a "custom pro" drum set that was actually just a normal one. he owes his brother around 150000 yen so his parents would make him pay his brother back and he would be in a lot of trouble if he stayed home. i told him we could both sleep over at my other friends house. i didnt want my bipolar friend acting weird and smoking cigs in front of my parents. my mom likes to talk to my friends when they come. (what the fuck my keyboard on my lap top keeps squeaking, this is disgusting). he told me that he just needs to reactivate his bank account and he will have access to the money, and he told me he will buy me stuff. hes always kind with his money, although he doesnt know how to save.

me, my bipolar friend (ill call him bipolar from now) and my other friend who looks like an ape (ill call him ape) met at the station near my house. me and the ape had found out that absinthe is legal in japan, and we told bipolar about it and bipolar was happy. we all only had around 3 bucks each on us, so i told ape to go home to get money from his mom, for his mom wanted to try absinthe. me and bipolar would walk to a fountain downtown where we would meet and buy absinthe. before that, i asked bipolar for an anti depressant pill. he said ok and gave me and ape one each. he doesnt care about taking them. if he has the choice he wouldnt take any. the pills were the kind like xanax where it makes you calm. last time i took the pill it was the 1mg kind, but this time it was 0.5 mg. i went into a convenient store and went to the bathroom in it and put the pill in my mouth and downed it with fresh bathroom sink water. ape went to take the subway to his house to get money.

i was on my bike. a bmx bike with japanese mother bike handles and a japanese mother bike seat. japanese mother bikes are just normal cheap bikes here that are easier to ride than mountain bikes and race bikes. i slowly rode my bike while bipolar walked, and then we saw a baby pigeon on the side walk. it looked diseased. me and bipolar used to try to catch animals when we were in highschool everyday in the morning walks to school. our proudest catch was a mole. this time it was an easy catch, but there would be nothing to do with a baby pigeon so i told bipolar that we should just leave it. he looked a little sad, and we continued our walk to the fountain. before we knew it we were there and we knew ape was going to take a while, so i went to park my bike. bipolar lit up a cig, so i asked for one, bought a pepsi, and smoked it while drinking pepsi. we waited more but ape didnt come so we went to the music store and cd store nearby. then we went down to the subway station and ape came. we started walking to the alcohol shop, but we couldnt wait so i suggested for us to run. they agreed and we started running but we became tired and started walking again. after 3 minutes we were there and we bought a bottle of absinthe. the ape had brought an empty coca cola bottle and some sugar in a baggie, that looked like cocaine. we said we wished it was real cocaine. we were going to drink the absinthe in the real classy style like the europeans used to do, with a plastic bottle, toilet sink water, sugar from a baggie, and shake the bottle just like van gogh. we went into a wheel chair person bathroom in a big park and started making our fairy juice. we made it, and passed the bottle around. i started to feel a little drunk, but it was more of a light feeling which was nice. it tasted disgusting, but i wanted to feel the full effects so i kept drinking. then bipolar started impersonating famous japanese comedians. he usually doesnt do that, and it looked retarded and it wasnt funny at all. me and ape fake laughed. then bipolar suddenly became quiet and told ape not to drink any more. i asked if i was allowed and he said no at first but then he said ok. ape asked again but bipolar made a rule that the japs in the room have to take a break. i kept taking sips and it almost made me throw up. then we finished the bottle of fairy juice and went out side. i started singing the words "the green fairy of the night" in a real high voice in a real rocknroll style. bipolar kept impersonating japanese comedians, and ape started making up pop melodies with his voice. then i asked bipolar if i could have a cig, and he said ok. i told ape to smoke one too, but before that i needed to go to a vending machine to get tea so i could smoke with out getting my throat too dry. i ran to the vending machine that i saw and i started feeling hyped. i made high voices with my voice. then i bought the tea and told my friends that its kind of fun to be alone, so my ape friend went away from us. then he came back and then bipolar started telling us this story. he lived in america for 4 years when he was young so he could speak english. so could ape. bipolar was saying stuff like "hey little girl, come over here, every thing is ok. come little girl" in an old man voice. then he would say stuff like "ok. will i be ok though?" in a little girl voice. his face looked crazy while he was doing this. i laughed.

then i started singing more high voice rock melodies with green fairy influenced lyrics. bipolar repeated mine a little, and ape kept singing pop melodies. hes such a popper. then we decided to drink more green fairy, but this time we bought volvic water in a bottle from a vending machine. green fair made with water from the french alps made us say "yeah!". we went into a public bathroom nearby and mixed some fary juice and drank it. then an old business man walked in, and i said "oh my god i thought the green fairy was a beautiful girl, but its a balding stressed out business man!". typical teenage drug joke.

then we started talking about the money bipolar was going to get. he said we will go to the bank in the morning, activate his account, get the money, and go do slots. what a great way to start wasting 2500 bucks. he said we would all do 200 bucks worth of slot machine playing until we lose. unless we win, that is. i said i would rather play pachinko because at least i would get to watch little balls fall instead of just spinning images stopping with a stupid screen above it with anime characters giving you hints on when youll go into BONUS. me and bipolar went into a convenient store to look at magazines that tell you how to tell if you are playing the right pachinko machine. we looked at them for around a minute and when we came out ape was touching a tree and humming. it looked cute and funny. an ape with a tree. then bipolar and ape took a train to the train stop near apes house. i had my bike and i didnt want to pay train money so i took my bike. i listened to the strokes first album. ive been listening to panda bear and the strokes first album only these days because im sick of everything else on my ipod. then i got to the train stop 30 minutes later and found my friends looking at slot magazines in a convenience store. ape doesnt really care about slots but bipolar was teaching him about them for tomorrow. i asked how the train ride was and they told me that bipolar was playing with a business man's jacked with his ticket, and the business man walked away from them. they said it was fun.

then we got to ape's house and apes mom was there. she also looks like an ape. its kind of like being in the movie the planet of the apes when your in a room with just ape and his mom. apes mom said she was going out, and that theres meat and rice. we all cooked our own meat and ate rice with it. it was really really good. then we were all tired so we got into bed. we set the alarm to 815 because the bank and slot machine place opens at 9.

we got up at 8 15, and walked to the bank with out eating anything. as soon as bipolar got money he would buy us any kind of food we want. we were excited for the money. we got to the bank and went in and an old man that works there told bipolar he need a name stamp to activate his account. he became sad and became silent. we all walked back to apes house and ate more meat and rice. then i drank some absinthe and took 3 pills. it felt nice. my friends were telling me i was acting fucked up. then i wanted a cig but we didnt have any more so i skated to a cig vending machine really fast and bought these little cigs called hope. hope for good feelings and relaxing memories. not cancer and moms finding out about their teenage sons smoking. 2 boxes came out and i thought i got lucky at first, but it was because it was 3 bucks for 2 packs. the average price for normal sized cigs here is around 3 bucks. then i skated back while smoking a cig, then got back and felt tired, so i went in apes room and turned on panda bear on his computer and took a nap. my friends watched some movie while i was sleeping. then they said we would go to bipolars house to check if he got any bank activation mail. i said ok and got ready and we went. it took around 1.5 hours.

we got to his house at around 6, and we went into bipolars parents room to use bipolars computer. his mom put the computer in there so he would go out more instead of staying in all day. when he isnt depressed she keeps him in the house though. maybe i should be calling him ape too! the reason we went into the room wasnt for the computer, but to search for sleeping pills that bipolars mom hid from him. he got prescribed them, but he didnt use them, and he told me and ape that he would give us to them but his mom hid them because mothers think that sleeping pills are dangerous. we couldnt find them in the room, so we concluded that they must be in the kitchen where his mom hides her cigarettes. she secretly smokes, and recently the whole family found out but she still hides them and smokes when noones around. we went into bipolar's room and sat and talked. it was so boring with out a computer to look stuff up. we listened to music and laughed at the dullness of the air around us. i said i guess this is what it was like for teens in the olden days and we laughed. we wanted to eat dinner so bipolar asked his mom if theres anything to eat and she said no and gave him 5000 yen. we went to the super market and convenient store to buy food. i bought meat with miso sauce on it, a salad, and chocolate bread. ape bought a bento, which has rice and other things like meat and things in it in a plastic box. he also bought bread. bipolar bought coroke, which is kind of like deep fried mashed potatoes with bits of stuff in it, and bread. we also bought things to drink, and one bottle of zima alcoholic beverage. we basically used all the money, so we planned out some dialog to use when we got into the house to show the parents that we were guilty about using all the money. the plan was to go into the living room, show the bags of stuff, and i would say "we bought a little too much guys haha", and ape would say "i feel bad haha". bipolar would say "its ok guys we almost never do this". we got into the house, and went into the living room and made lots of noise with our plastic bags and the parents laughed and said we bought a lot. we said yeah and i said we bought too much and ape said we feel sorry but i dont think the parents heard it because we were all laughing. then we went into bipolars room and ate while listening to eric copeland, the guy from black dice. it was really funny hearing the eating sounds with the music, and it was kind of like an indie film. then we drank the rest of the absinthe that we had brought from apes house, and me and ape started drinking beer that we also brought from apes house. bipolar was starting to act like he was down after he did some japanese comedian immitations, and he said he didnt need beer. me and my friend said lets go out side, but my bipolar said he would stay in and and sleep. me and ape went to try and find camel cigs. they only sell menthol camels in most places here, so we went on an adventure to find them. we kept drinking beer and walking and it was really fun. me and ape talked about how our lives were going to be great when we move to canada and live in an apartment. weed almighty! weed for all! unlimited funness! then we went back and saw that bipolar was sleeping and started searching the kitchen for pills. we searched everywhere and found money and cigs and other medication, but we couldnt find what were were looking for. it was really sneaky searching around drawers and stuff in a persons house, but it was also fun. then bipolar came down and took a plastic bag from where they keep dishes. OH thats where the anti depressant downer pills and all were. he also found the sleeping pills, and it turned out his mom didnt hide them. he game us half of what he had, and some other pills. we were happy. then we all went to sleep.

we got up and went to the bank with a paper he got in the mail, and a name stamp, and we thought we would finally get access to 2500 bucks but the name stamp was a little different from the one he used to create the bank account, and the account would take a few days to get activated anyways even if he had the right stamp, so me and ape got on the train to go home. we were relieved. bipolar is nice sometimes, but hes hard to be with with his constant mood swings. he also kind of treats ape like shit.

i went home and slept. then got up and skated. then slept over at apes and took lots of pills and walked around. its been around 30 hours since i took all those pills now and i still feel weird. why cant i just have weed. i dont really like pills, and smoking cigs isnt what i want. i hate the uncreativity and laziness of alcohol, and the taste of absinthe. i dont like being drug free either. weed is perfect for me. a month and 2 weeks more till i go back to kanada.

a month and 2 more weeks.




its 433 am, and im laying on my futon letting the time pass. i cannot stop it, for i dont have the power. now, i shall write my entry in my blog about my life. it is to be read, so i will write it now.

it all started when i asked my friend who has bi-polar disorder if i could have some of his medication. if you dont know what bi-polar is, its when you get really depressed for a while, then you get really socially active and you are really positive and you cant stop thinking. i have been friends for a long time with him, and i must say that i like him way better when he is depressed and relaxed.

for a while he had been telling me that his pills dont do anything and that he wouldnt take them if his mom didnt force him to. he also told me he got sleeping pills and that he didnt need them, so i sent him an email asking him if i could have some pills for 500 yen. he said ok, and we made plans to meet at 10 pm in 2 days at the station he lives closest to.

i forgot what i did the day after that, but i remember that i drank a little and went to sleep at 12 pm and got up at 4 am and couldnt get back to sleep. i killed time on my lap top till 9, and then ate some pilaf rice and fruit juice. i am kind of on a diet right now because my braces made my crowded teeth straight, and that made my jaw bigger, which made my face a little bigger and a little fatter. i am trying not to drink any drinks with sugar in them, other than beer.

i met my best japanese friend who is moving to canada with me in july, and we walked over to a station where japan railroad trains go through. the bi polar friend lives out side of the city so we needed to take the JR trains. we walked into the station, to find a treat. THE CAN LICKER! there is this middle aged short man that walks around the area that i live in that is ALWAYS licking an empty can. i saw him a week ago with my friend and he made this animal growl noise when we passed him. we were excited. this time, he was leaning on one of the ticket machines. he was licking the can furiously like i would like a cute teen girl with brown long hair's legs and pussy. we got our tickets, and went through the ticket machine and i told my friend to wave at the can licker. he did, but the licker didnt respond. maybe next time!

we waited for a train and we got in, and there was this woman with her child. for some reason i kept looking at the woman. the more i looked at her, the more disgusting she looked. she looked normal at first sight, but constant looks at her made her look like a witch. we got to the station at 10:08 and we found the bi polar friend. he was a little fat. he gained weight from one of the pills that hes taking, but he doesnt seem to care. i said hey to him but he didnt respond and kept looking down. i thought he was mad because we were 8 minutes late. then he said hi and gave us the pills in this cute paper bag with flowers on it. he always makes boring jokes like ignoring you and then suddenly talking to you. i dont know how many times ive faked laughed while with him. we said thanks, bye, but he said hes going our way because he wants to play slot machines. hes addicted to them. he keeps saying hes almost going to win and uses all his money till he loses it all. it was better in the old days though. the summer he started the slot business was good and he earned around 4000 dollars. then he lost it all and now you cant win that much at all with slot machines. he said he was going to play with 2000 yen, which is funny because its almost impossible to go into BONUS with that amount of money. with japanese slots, you need to go into BONUS to make money. he got off at his station, and me and my friend headed to my friends house.

we checked the pills and there were only 2 sleeping pills. we were a little disappointed. now my friend had to steal some from his retarded grandma for next time. we got to his house, ate some rice and looked up the other pills we got on the internet. they were all downer drugs that could be used recreationally. we gave each other a hi 5 and ya brotha.

then we took a 5 hour nap. then we got up and went to the video shop. we searched and found one called pafe oyaji, which means pafe man. pafe is some foreign desert. its usually in a martini glass and it has wip cream and chocolate and stuff in it. we looked at the back of the dvd box and it showed a shameful looking japanese business man doing things. me and my friend are a huge fan of japanese business men that act funny, so we rented it. we got home, and watched. we thought it would be about a business man dancing around and doing funny jokes, but it was 7 short stories. it was 7 short stories of people having a conversation at a family restaurant with the business man near them. then at the end of each one the business man goes and pays and says something thats supposed to be funny and clever. it was fucking awful. the first one is a woman on her cell phone getting mad at her boy friend on the other side of the phone because he cheated on her. she keeps hanging up, but he keeps calling. at the end the businessman goes, "she should just, turn off her phone" and then the thing ends. what the fuck. we laughed at the shittiness of it, and then drank one beer and took a sleeping pill. we went out side and started walking around. my friend said he was feeling it, and i was a tiny bit. it was a dreamy effect but it wasnt that strong. then we got a peach alcohol beverage at a convenient store and shared it. then we went to another convenient store and got an energy drink. we went to a park and my friend was saying damn this feels good. he said "sleeping pills forever. well, not forever". we only speak english to each other when we are on drugs. his fuckedupness made me really mad. i asked for a cig and we both smoked a cig while drinking the energy drink. i kept walking away from him because i was jealous of his effects. i was only feeling it a little. then i got an idea. take one of those downer pills. we went back to his house, and i took 3 quarters of a pill and my friend took the left quarter. we waited a little and i thought i needed more so i took another type of downer pill and took 3 quarters of it and gave my friend the other quarter. we went out side and my friend listened to his ipod. i didnt have mine so i walked around making noises with my voice. i did them really loud and the vibration kind of felt nice. i kicked all the signs that i saw, and i was kind of pissed off for some reason. we got to a convenient shop an bought 2 boiled eggs and 2 red bulls. then we went to a little grocery store beside it and bought bread. we were using my money, and i realized that i used 3000 yen of the 5000 yen my mom gave me in one day. i was supposed to use it for 5 days, and i got mad at my friend. i started calling him a stupid pig and telling him to give me back my money. this continued for 5 minutes untill he pushed me and then i hit his head. then he hit my chin and i threw him and held his neck and told him to stop. he gave me another punch and said ok its over. i gave him another and told him its really over now. the battle ended. we were really pissed off at each other. the walk back to his house was normal. i asked him how out fight was but he didnt want to talk about it. we both talked about how much better it would be if we had some weed. then we got home and i took another pill and took a shower and went to sleep in his room.

we were supposed to get up at around 10 so we could go to the bank and post office to send my friends visa application stuff for canada. i kept having dreams of waking my friend up and asking what time it is and getting awful responses like 3 pm and 2 pm. i thought we got enough sleep and woke him up and asked him what time it was and he said 2 47. i said what the fuck do you think youre doing. he said he set 2 alarms. i was really mad because my mom organized all of the visa stuff and she made a deadline for him to send it in, and it was already 3 days past the dead line that she made. i called him a fat pig asshole.

we ate some rice, and decided to take a pill before i go. we walked to his station and took the pill in the bathroom. our plan was to get off at a station a little walk from the station closest to my house and walk while on the pill. this time we knew not to get mad at each other and we were relaxed. we felt like cigs so we bought a pack and walked around smoking. it was nice. it was like a straight calm high. not good not bad. then we got to the station near my house. my friend said bye, but i said come a little closer to my house. i always make him come a little closer. he always says no at first but i always get him to. then we lit one more cig up, and i walked home smoking it, trying not to get any of the smoke on my cloths. i dont want my mom and dad to find out about me smoking sometimes. my throat felt dry and i ran so i could get to the water fountain near my house. i got there and drank water, and got home. it was nice at home. talking to my parents was even semi-enjoyable. i wished i could be on that pill always when im alone. then i would never be bored.

fast forward 24 hours.

me and my friend decided to take the remaining pills. 4 pills for him, 5 for me. we walked around his house and had a real great time. we got on a seesaw at a park, and i listened to a four-tet song called hilarious movies of the 90s which is a beautiful song. i went up and down, and realized something amazing. i dont remember what it is now.

i cant wait till i move to canada with my japanese friend. we are going to buy a normal sized glass bong, a cheap vaporizer, and go to places to smoke blunts. we are both really excited and we wish we could go tomorrow.