living

i sat on the carpet floor and gazed at the stack of flyers laying there like they wanted to say something to me. what ever the store puts on sale, i was interested in it. i then got up and opened the door. i could see a mixture of architecture and architected nature. i was sick of the view, so i left the door open and went to sit on the carpet again. this time, i thought, id play with the sponge ball i had purchased at the dollar store for 2 dollars.

as i tossed the ball up and down, it felt like i was representing my current life. i then decided to do some moves to explore my natural talent with ball tossture. i threw it up, then tilted my shoulders back and let the ball bounce on my chest, and after the ball rose up into the air right from my chest, i successfully caught it again. then i did the same move, but i let it bounce on my head. then i put a spin on the ball as i threw it in the air, and successfully caught it. i felt like i was really getting the hang of it, but there was more to be done for the day so i threw the ball, but this time instead of capturing it with my hands, i let it free. it hit the ground, rolled, and then stopped, and then looked at me. it said "thanks" and i nodded.

then i got this weird feeling ive been getting recently. a feeling of what the fuck is this shit. then i tried to be like a less sophisticated animal, such as a rat, or bird. i didnt think about why, and just did. i walked around trying to find something that would keep me busy. i kept walking in circles looking at the different things scattered all over the gorund. it was not as stimulating as hoped, but i tried not to think about that. i couldnt keep going, but i still wanted to act like a careless animal, so i decided to lay on 2 pillows that were on the ground. i thought about cavemen and imagined one sleeping beside a rock. i felt like that man. i was that man. i was living my life as that man.

then i got up and was faced with the same shit all over again.