yesterday, i woke up at 1 30. i wanted to sleep more, but lunch is until 2 pm at the cafetiria. i went there and put 2 pieces of french toast on a plate. then i saw a japanese friend, so i went and ate with him. my hair seemed to be standing up in one spot, so i got comments about that. my brain doesnt work in the morning that well. a few days ago, a guy asked me if i was high when he talked to me in the morning. i wasnt high. just sleepy. i ate the 2 pieces of dry french toast and drank milk and talked about what we do everyday. he told me that he studies in his room a lot. he must jack off a lot.
then i went to another japanese friends room to see his new hair cut. i heard from a friend the night before that he got drunk by himself and shaved his own head. i saw him and he looked like a monkey. i saw his lighter, and asked him if he's ever sprayed paint at a fire. he said no, and he wanted to see what its like. we didnt have any spray paint, so we took his room mates hair spray and went out side. out side we saw a guy who is friends with everyone. he is good looking and he fucks a lot of women. i dont really like hanging out with him although he is nice to me. i never have anything to day. we lit the lighter and sprayed the spray at the fire. it wasnt that amazing. we laughed at it a little and decided to go back inside. then me and my japanese friend went to IQs, a coffee shop with pool tables. all the places to hang out on campus have lame names that make me mad. the bar is called Wise Guys, and there is a place to eat called Degrees. Fuck.
i bought chocolate milk and challenged my friend to a pool match. the loser has to pay for the table. i lost and had to pay him 3 bucks and 50 cents. im pretty low on money since i got fined 50 bucks for smoking weed right out side of the residence building. then we got sick of each other so we said bye to each other and left each other. i dont remember but i think i jacked off in my room after that.
then i decided to take a bus to downtown and walk around because i had absolutely nothing to do. i took a 30 minute bus ride. i walked around and saw around 100 native people smoking cigarettes. then i went into a mall, but everything was closed. i didnt know that everything closes at 5 pm on sundays. it was cold out side and i had nothing to do. i started feeling sad. then i decided to walk over to another part of town. i started walking, and i started making noises with my voice. i also started singing wolf parade songs to myself and it felt cool. a guy saw me singing. i dont know what he thought of me.
i got to the part of town i was walking to after around 30 minutes of walking. i thought i would check out a book shop that i saw when i was riding on the bus. i walked half way there and decided that ill just go back to univeristy. i went to the bus stop and saw my american friend. i walked up to him from behind and suddenly opened his back pack. he looked back and said hey fucker. i asked him if he thought some person was trying to steel stuff from his back pack. he told me he didnt knwo what was going on. we rode the bus, and it was crowded so we sat in different spots. i listened to my ipod and felt like nothing.
i got back to rez, and played my guitar for a bit and then went to eat. i saw the japanese guy i ate with in the morning. there was also a japanese girl there. i started talking, and i forgot that i had a japanese personality. i can talk faster in japanese, so it makes me different. it felt kind of good. we talked for 2 hours. then i went back to my room and wrote a poem for class. we have to make a mask and read a poem for class. here is the poem i wrote. its kind of lame.
You are my guilty pleasure.
im a fuckin bird
i watch you masterbate
i watch you laughing at your own jokes
from the sky
i watch you cry when youre sad
from your window
i watch you eat candy and watch tv
while i am stuck out side eating little dry pieces of old bread
i watch you do that thing that nobody knows about
but my brain is too small to remember any of this
so you dont have to worry
i still have to make a mask. im just going to tie a bunch of pieces of wood together. im too lazy to make a detailed mask. then i sat in my room, with nothing to do for 2 hours. i went through my whole itunes and listened to the good songs. i sent my parents and brother and japanese friends emails. then i went out side to go skating at around 2 am but it was too wet and cold to skate, so i came back to my room. then i got my shower gear ready, walked to the shower room and cleaned myself. i shampood my whole body. then i took a bath.
i did nothing till 3 30 am and then i layed in bed and tried to sleep. i dont like my life here. i am not comfortable talking to anyone. it feels like i always have to prove myself to people. its tiring.
today, i woke up at 12 pm and made a cup of tea, and walked to japanese class while drinking the tea. i take pride in this activity. i think its stylish. walking around while drinking tea and listening to music. i saw my american friend walking, and i went over to him and i got the response i was waiting for. he laughed at the tea cup. : ) . then i went to class and talked about japan with a geek who lived in the same city as me for one year. all the people in japanese class are anime geeks, or just plain nerds.
after class i went to eat. i had tacos and salad and tea and a bagel. me and my japanese friend that doesnt smoke pot much at all talked about how it would be cool to go somewhere where there arent many people, smoke pot, and run around. we smoked pot together once and he ran around campus listening to sum 41 dancing and skipping. i ran with him but i didnt have my ipod. he lent it to me, and he didnt have many songs that i liked, so i put on blink 182s whats my age again and ran around. i felt naked, good, lame, cool, and creative.
after lunch i went to drawing class, and had to draw cloth and glass. everyone was complaining that drawing still life was boring. a girl brought a kitten to class and everybody was playing with the pussy cat. they were treating it as though it were a pussy. after that, somebody said 'hey its snowing'. i looked out the window and it was snowing hard. the first hard snow of the year. ive had never seen so much snow in the air. i went out side and tears came out of my eyes because it felt nice. i went back inside and talked about drugs and then drew a girl and then drew a cat with slime coming out of its mouth, pouring onto a guy doing the peace sign with both of his hands, with 2 naked people standing on each side. it looked ok, but not great. then a guy asked me if i knew where he could get some pot, and i told him yeah, we can get some after class. after class, the guy and 2 girls came to my small room. i didnt want to call my dealer because its a pain in the ass. i had a gram of pot in my room so i gave it to the guy. i didnt care about giving it away because i am taking a break from bob marley life. does bob marley always have a smile on his face? no. getting high is normal to him. i wanna smile when i get high.
one of the girls was a tiny tiny tiny bit over weight. i had a little drawing on my wall of a melting person eating a chocolate bar and a banana. above it it says FAT. the guy commented on it and everybody looked at it and kind of laughed but the slightly over weight person didnt. i kind of felt sorry.
then we all went out of my room, and i said bye to them because i had to go eat dinner before my last class of the day. i had a sandwich and tea for dinner. i ate with japanese people.
then i went to film studies class. i took this class because i like some movies. it turns out that we watch old western movies, then watch parts over again, and then listen to an old boring man talk about it. im dropping it next semester. todays class was different though. we watched a modern movie. i forget what it was called, but it was about a family going to see the daughter that lives in new york for thanks giving. it was an ok movie. then the torture started. we started watching 2 scenes from the movie over and over. we watched the same scenes 4 times. after the third time i was pissed off and stressed out. then he said ok one last time, and i thought oh god man, come on man, you cant do this to me. i put my hood over my head and started making mad faces to myself. then i started saying the word 'fuck' over and over quietly. finally, after 3 hours of sitting, the class was done. he handed back everyones papers before we got to leave. we had to write papers about the movie "rebel without a cause". i seemed to be the only one in the class who didnt like it. he said "i wish you would have like it more". i got a C. he wrote "im sorry that you didnt like the film" on my paper at least 3 times. then i walked home and got a headache. it is getting too cold. then i came back, and im sitting here and my head still hurts. i have to make the mask for tomorrow soon, but i think i will go for a quick skateboard ride before i make it. its probably going to be too cold to have fun. maybe not. maybe my headache will ruin my skateboard ride.
oh, i also forgot that i had a cookie and some milk right when i got back from film studies class. it tasted good.